Now that the West seems no longer in the mood to appease President Putin whether in Syria, in Salisbury, or in Ukraine, if war does break out, your correspondent would like to let his readers know that it has been nice writing stuff for you! Never mind the quality…feel the width!
The only good thing about the present situation is that this writer realises he is now too old to be called up. Mind you, with his previous “extensive military experience” being late of his high school’s Combined Cadet Force about 35 years ago (Corporal Todd’s military career highlights were getting all his men “machine gunned” during a battle exercise, and once calling a female Royal Navy/Wren officer, “Sir”), he might yet be drafted into the modern equivalent of the Home Guard which was so amusingly parodied by the 1970s BBC TV show called Dad’s Army.
That comedy TV show told amusing tales (some based on fact) about the old guys in the Home Guard which guarded the country during World War II while the “real” British Army’s soldiers fought abroad. The show was both funny and influential. In fact, sci-fi comedy writer, Douglas Adam’s “Don’t Panic” idea was originally stolen from the Dad’s Army show’s Corporal Jones character who shouted “Don’t Panic! Don’t Panic!” while doing just exactly that! It is the sort of flap that this writer often gets into.
Mind you, as your correspondent finds himself mourning over the fact that he has not had enough bayonet practice (of either kind) in his life, he is actually more likely to be made the medical orderly equivalent of Private Godfrey, Dad’s Army’s old boy who wants to go to the toilet all the time 😊. Then again, actually the prospect of World War III starting (gulp!) does tend to have this effect.