On a lighter note: The biggest scandal of the Coronavirus crisis is, of course…politicians’ haircuts

by | Apr 24, 2020 | On a Lighter Note, Seradata News

“We are all in this together,” is the politicians refrain with respect to the Coronavirus crisis. Well maybe not. While the stewards’ inquiry has already started about what nations should have done better…one thing is becoming clear: while hairdressers are officially shut during the admittedly vitally necessary lock down, this is apparently not true for our political masters.

For example, as the all-too-sharp-looking UK government ministers do their best to defend why there is not enough testing or protective equipment, or worse, try to make us feel better by telling us that at least shoplifting is down (as well it would be with the shops shut), one thing is obvious, as they do so their hair looks way too short and neat given the lock down restrictions on professional hairdressing.

It maybe that all the worry is causing politicians’ hair to not grow out as it should. However, more realistically, their all-too-suspiciously short hairstyles are forcing us to demand confirmation that it is ministers’ spouses who are cutting their hair, and not some skilled hairdressers. If not, then this will be just another example of the upper echelons around the world performing the order of “do as I say, not as I do.”

And public resentment is growing given that the rest of us in the proletariat to have to grow its collective hair out (and not just on the head – no more the last chicken at Sainsbury’s look!), with the stress of not having hairdressers just about to make us start pulling it out instead.

Larry the Downing Street Cat was stroked by UK Secretary for Health Matt Hancock – but his own “fur” remains suspiciously short. Courtesy: Larry the Cat/@pholerichard

This “one rule for them, and another for us” hypocrisy which has already been evident in other ways during this crisis (e.g. politicians and Presidents’ daughters breaching unnecessary travel bans) appears to be affecting other world leaders around the world. Ranging from France’s President Macron, to the communist leaderships in the Far East, they similarly look all-to-neat.  The latter must already be fearful of a counter revolution as their populace’s hair grows.

Of course, there are some exceptions. Whether he his hair dresser is on hand or not, US President Donald Trump, nearly always has a bad hair day anyway – especially on a windy day. So no counter revolution in the USA then. Well, at least, not over that – although his disastrous advice to imbibe/inject disinfectant (please don’t do this!) just might do the trick.

Meanwhile, Boris Johnson, having had his own brush with the deadly disease at the intensive care “front line” in hospital, has safely come back to work – and with very shaggy hair. While he still has to face the music over his government’s response to the crisis, we still say good on him! For even though he looks like his dog Dilyn has been styling his hair, in this he is more in tune with the public than his overly neat lieutenants.

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson returns to work – along with his shaggy hair. Courtesy: BBC

The Sun newspaper warns us that bad hair days will continue for six months. Courtesy: The Sun

In the meantime, as the world economy faces its biggest ever “haircut” for more than three hundred years, the newspapers warn the rest of us that our bad hair days – including the foolhardy attempting to self cut – are set to continue – probably for months to come.

Of course, we could always turn to using hair nets – spacecraft clean room style – or a hat instead (if you are the Queen).

Space, as an industry, has never been keen on getting hair in the works – hence why NASA male astronauts have traditionally (and wisely) usually gone for a crew cut before their space flights.

And astronauts’ popularity will remain, just so long as they don’t have the hypocritically coiffed hair of politicians that is.

Her Majesty preferred to wear her hat when she visited SSTL’s clean-room some years ago. Courtesy: SSTL


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