French space and geophysics expert, Professor Avril Fou, has warned that the Earth’s rotation rate is slowing down, with long term implications for the seasons* and the weather. “To ignore this slow down would be foolish,” Avril Fou warns. So can anything be done? Avril Fou advises that for the Earth to regain its angular momentum, and hence its rotational speed, all those in possession of record players/gramophones should play their LP vinyl records at 12 Noon GMT on 1st April. By the way, Avril Fou notes that for this “Rhythm Method” to work against the Earth’s massive Moment of Inertia, all the records have to be rotating clockwise (as is normal) and played at the right speed.
*Via any effects on the Earth’s nutation “wobble” and on its solar orbital precession rate.
Update on 2 April: OK – this one probably fooled nobody but it was an a April Fool joke. The date 1 April is, of course, the one day when “fake news” is acceptable. Note this certain politicians.